American Voters

Count Binface has vowed to rename London Bridge after Phoebe Waller-Bridge if he wins Mays mayoral election. His other flagship policies for the capital include price-capping croissants at 1.10 and granting grade-one listed status to Claudia Winklemans fringe. The self-described intergalactic space warrior running in Londons election, who says he is 5,072 years old in Earth years, has also pledged to make Thames Water bosses take a dip in the river. The Count, who previously ran to be mayor in 2021, has hinted that he may stand in Rishi Sunaks seat in North Yorkshire in the general election.